Break Up Letters to Boyfriends And How to Write Them

Let’s get one thing straight: TEMTS does not endorse letters as the sole means of ending a relationship with anyone. That’s right, even if that boyfriend of yours is a complete skeeze, even if he wrecked your car, stole, cheated, or did any vile thing short of physical abuse, the way to end the relationship is with direct, unequivocal face time. The reason for this is simple and is as much for your benefit as it is for his: if you really want a relationship over (no, really), the only way to make your point clear is to do with words delivered live and in person.

However, we also know that when relationships end, few people possess the where-with-all and collective coolness to end things saying everything they’d like to say. Therefore, it’s very possible that when all’s said and done, you may want a little added closure. What better way to do that than with a “break-up letter?” Letters have a number of advantages that phone calls, person-to-person talking, and definitely text messages don’t. You get to think them through, can make a copy for yourself, and even reminisce a bit. Plus they’re pretty easy. So let’s buckle down and get the thing written. Here are some top pointers:

*Be kind. Before you get ready to blast that boyfriend with unkind quips, inappropriate anatomical jokes, and downright cruel anecdotes, stop yourself. A break-up letter is hard to write, sure, but it can be even harder to read, so why not do everyone a favor and end things gracefully? And if you do need a chance to vent, a night out with the ladies should take care of that. ‘Nuff said.

*Mention a few good things about the relationship. Unless boyfriend has seriously messed up and say, broken your heart, it’s appropriate to reminisce about his surprise birthday party. Or that date that ended in food poisoning. Or that long-awaited vacation together. Mentioning these will make the break-up less painful and likely tone down any letter’s drama.

*It’s okay to say what went wrong. Especially if you’re the one ending the relationship, it’s fair to (tactfully) explain why you think things went awry. This isn’t the blame game, and mentioning your own weaknesses is also appropriate. Doing so will provide closure for both, and may help your future relationships.

*Set a tone for future contact. If you want to stay friends with your boyfriend, SAY THAT (and leave a means for him to get in touch with you). If you never want to see or hear from this person again SAY THAT INSTEAD. Be very direct in this respect, and don’t mince words. Remember that if ethics played a part in your relationship’s end (ie lying or cheating), future interaction should probably be avoided.

So there you have it. The Ex Marks the Spot! offers condolences for your relationship’s end, but remember, composing a break-up letter may provide you with some unexpected relief. Now get to writing!